I've got the answer. It's thick, and hairy. And only a few men who have them can work it. Here's 5 who do it best:
#1 Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation
Wondrous in it's beauty, precision and thickness; Swanson, aka Nick Offerman, presents to us his beautiful mustache weekly on Parks and Rec. Probably one of my favorite shows, the mustache accompanies a delightfully sarcastic and arrogant persona. With great responsibility comes great mustache. Pyramid of Greatness. Also, that hair. Amazing
#2 Frederich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A much loved philosopher by all those who study him. Mustache, although much less studied, is as exuberant and pretentious. Nietzsche sets a high standard for fluff, shape and thickness in the "I'm also an asshole" category.
#3 Joseph Stalin
A not so loved historical mustache of grand proportions. Notice the side view here, and how the hair actually pr
otrudes from his face. Great thickness and well groomed. He'd probably look like a baby if it weren't for this bad-boy.
#4 Tom Selleck
The ol' and pretty: Magnum, PI. Many of you youngsters don't know about ol' Tom, but here's a lesson: if Chuck Norris had a lover, it would be Tom Selleck.
Look at that face, and its as though that beautiful mustache just adds so much drama to the look. Without it he might just look friendly. So badass.
#5 Burt Reynolds (Bandit era)
Oh Burt. You have made millions of women swoon over you in your T-roof Trans Am, whereas I just adore that beautifully groomed black beauty. Sure, the car is nice, but what good is a rear view mirror when every time you look back you see that glory.
Honorable Mentions:
Ron Burgundy
The legend wouldn't be complete without the coarse, shapely mustache of Ron Burgundy. Afternoon delight? How about anytime? Stay classy.
Randy Marsh
Although a fictional character, Randy's 'stache has clearly done great things for the role. It accompanies him through all of his intelligent musings. Excellence.
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