Boys have self-esteem issues too...

If there's one thing I've noticed as of late, it's that guys have the same issues we do. They don't always feel happy when they look in the mirror. In fact, I think they have it worse: sure the pressures may be lesser or different, but the ability to talk about 'feeling fat' or nothing be happy with the way you look is something we females accept and take for granted.


It came to me as a realization as I noticed more and more of my guy friends were spending large amounts of time at the gym. By large, I mean more than myself: 10+ hours a week. Whether it be pumping iron, cardio or classes, more and more men are spending time working out and 'getting in shape' seems to be the justification for losing weight and looking 'better'. Truth is, I like a little meat on my guy. Muscle is good too, but I certainly am not attracted to the fakeness of a Calvin Klein underwear model, or the scrawny hipster-types that grind against me at clubs. I know, by now, that men don't necessarily want the Natalie Portman in Black Swan thin types, nor do they demand Megan Fox figures either.

With both genders accepting some leeway in figures, and with health being the primary concern rather than weight as a number--why is it that more and more men are super concerned about their size? Talking to one friend, who was troubled about being 'stuck' at 230lbs (a number that is neither ridiculously high nor unacceptable by 'healthy' standards for his height) I reassured him that the weight loss wasn't a numerical value but a loss in inches. It's why I never, ever weigh myself. I think I'd be disappointed at the scale, but when I try on new clothes, or especially old ones, I know I lost a lot.

And even then, I have 'fat days' like most girls. We all feel like crap now and then. When it happens a few days in a row, it's time to make a change. It's simple logic. Feel like crap, then actively make yourself feel better.

Is it that guys are going through the same cycle of crappy feeling? Is it that they feel pressure from girls or the media to be a certain way? I honestly don't pretend to have any unnatural insight about men, but growing up with a brother and a father, I can safely say that a certain weight can mean all the self-confidence in the world-- and self confidence means getting girls... or guys. Whatever the preference is, guys are having issues with the way they look: they're putting more effort into their appearance now than ever.

At least, I'm starting to notice it more now, or rather--care about it.
It kinda hurts inside to see a male friend going through the same troubles I face as a female seeing a 100lbs 5'5" celebrity on screen all the time-- men are faced with the lean, muscular, powerful imagery of the antagonist. It's not like it's unachievable--but it's certainly difficult, especially on a University students eating budget.

So if you're reading this, take a deep breath. Realize, and PLEASE take heed: you may not look in the mirror what you think you should, but that doesn't make you any less perfect, important, special and intelligent. Health is important, and most true health comes from the inside.

So work on that. Work out, keep fit, but don't go overboard. Don't spend 3 hours a night working out. Spend it having fun, studying, talking to friends...

...maybe cluing in on the fact that maybe this is about you. I care!