This story is one of the oldest around. Laurier Girls are the university format of the 'plastics' or the typical fake blonde bronzed amazons that all other girls love to hate. The quintessential Laurier girl has perfectly teased hair, often piled up into a 'sumo-bun', usually blonde and even more usual: fake.
The hair itself irritates me. Why spend more time than necessary making your hair look effortless, when bedhead can be easily achieved by simply getting out of bed. Why pay hundreds of dollars for a bottled blonde that imitates something the sun would do naturally on a boxed blonde or even a natural brunette?
Spending a ridiculous amount of money on appearance is nothing new to the average Laurier girl. The typical makeup is not your drugstore brand, nor is it dior. It's just expensive stuff, probably from Sephora. I'm not stereotyping, I'm just saying what I know.
When I started doing yoga, I became more familiar with lululemon athletica. Their yoga gear is by far well-made, and looks good on all shapes and sizes. The fact is, most Laurier girls sport the "wunder-under" pants (basically painted-on luon fabric leggings) which showcases their, ahem... 'assets'.
Those pants are 78-98 bucks, depending on which ones you get.
The Canada Goose down jacket, another wardrobe staple, is as cheap as 400 and as expensive as 1200 dollars depending on the length. Sure, these coats are warm: they're made for arctic excursions. But are they really necessary in -10 southern ontario winters? I barely wore a sweater last year, being a northerner I find these winters rather mild.
Of course we cannot forget about Uggs. Being incredibly "uggly" they serve little purpose other than to be trendy. Uggs were made for warming your feet after surfing in Australia. They're not made for Canadian winters. If they're warm, I'd be surprised. If they have good traction, I'd be even more surprised, as I see regularly women falling flat on their asses wearing those boots on ice.
Those boots are 200 a pair. Most LGs own several.
I just don't understand the purpose of spending 800, 900 dollars on an outfit that although you wear regularly (its pretty much a uniform here) serves no purpose other than to make you look ridiculous. Wearing yoga wear outside of the gym is stupid, wearing boots that make you fall is stupid, wearing a coat that makes you look like a marshmallow (and probably makes you sweat) is also stupid.
The LG persona is based on stupidity.
Although many of these girls are bright, intelligent and very enjoyable to be around, they play on this stupidity as a 'damsel in distress' kind of way. They think men like to show the female how superior they can be.
No wonder I'm still single. I would never downplay my intelligence in order to appear 'delicious' in the eyes of the opposite sex. Nor would you catch me dressed inappropriately for the weather. My lululemon does not leave the AC.
They're so identifiable by this stereotype, by this uniform. They pump thousands of dollars into these companies, and for what? other than lululemon, a respectable CANADIAN company, canada goose sure isn't cruelty free, and ever wonder what Uggs are made out of?
Google it. Few things these girls wear are representative of ethical awareness or even intelligence. I'll go that far.
As for me, if you dyed my hair blonde, strapped me up in that ridiculous clothing and made me seem half as smart as I was, I'd still stand out like a sore thumb. Always have, always will. And I'm proud of it.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Why I still read Cosmopolitan, and why I question that
So as I arrived home last night from Toronto, my monthly subscription of Cosmopolitan was stuffed into my screen door. Damp and curled into a baton, the magazine itself is way too expensive to be bought at the store which is why I purchased a 34.00 yearly subscription back in sophomore year. The cover, much the same every month, has a heavily photoshopped picture of some celebrity usually in a similar pose with a similar tan. This month is Jessica Alba, a very girl-next-door type of beautiful but in somewhat risque clothing. The month's theme, is exactly the same as another one this summer: "Guy sex confessions" and focuses on fashion for the fall. The magazine itself dictates what is sexy, beautiful etc when it has little or even NO authority to do so.
The first ten pages of Cosmo are all advertisements. Usually the pricier things, with the skinnier models, with more airbrushing, by the time you get to the table of contents you're already debating going out to buy new clothes to make you look slimmer, or in this case more emaciated. My favorite part of the magazine is where they give you makeup tips, but the makeup they usually use is ridiculously expensive. The only way to get the look is to buy into the Dior or Chanel brand, when the majority of girls who read this magazine (note the use of female jurisdiction) have enough disposable income to buy covergirl and maybe even Revlon cosmetics.
But yet, time after time when perusing the aisles of the Bay or Wal-Mart stores, I find that any and every item showcased in Cosmopolitan flies off the shelves, l especially if its affordable or promises to 'cure' common teen issues like acne or increase breast size.
I still read cosmopolitan for the odd bit of schadenfreude, or what they call the "confessions". It's good to know that someone somewhere out there has done the same stupid stuff I have, or even way worse. Cosmo's main focus now is sex and looking sexy. A popular page in the magazine dictates through photos of celebrity behaviour what is considered sexy and skanky. It's similar to a "what's hot, and what's not" page and leaves me wondering who decides whether a particular trait or instance is good or bad, and whether the fact that moral quandary plays ANY role in that choice.
I question my efforts to pick apart the magazine, because as a die-hard Women's Health subscriber and health-nut, I find cosmopolitan to be the tabloid of women's magazines. It offers little useful advice and more often than not incorrect information. Cosmo is really just a good bathroom reader, in that it is filled with garbage and useless fodder. Why would a teen ever care to know 101 ways to give oral sex when Pakistan is in dire need of relief aid and disease is about to exponentially grow? Why would anyone want to read such a piece of crap when the world is so full of problems?
That's exactly why they read it. The world is such a hard place in which to be an optimist, and reading crap like Cosmopolitan not only lets us feel 'better' about certain situations ("Well at least I'm not so-and-so) and focuses our attention on material wealth. It teaches us that happiness is only a great pair of shoes away, that we are mere objects for men to play with, and that our only satisfaction comes from being wanted, as an object. We're bombarded with incorrect representations of the female form, computerised and digitally enhanced versions of breasts, eyes, lips and teeth so many times that we lose touch with what is considered beautiful and even normal. Flaws are normal, cynicism is commonplace, people are fat after size 6. The world is an ugly place.
But yet, when it came time to renew my subscription I hesitated only for a moment. I put off calling them and going through this conversation. I procrastinated and paid the price, after seeing the automatic charge put onto my credit card for 40.00.
That could have bought me a new pair of shoes.
The first ten pages of Cosmo are all advertisements. Usually the pricier things, with the skinnier models, with more airbrushing, by the time you get to the table of contents you're already debating going out to buy new clothes to make you look slimmer, or in this case more emaciated. My favorite part of the magazine is where they give you makeup tips, but the makeup they usually use is ridiculously expensive. The only way to get the look is to buy into the Dior or Chanel brand, when the majority of girls who read this magazine (note the use of female jurisdiction) have enough disposable income to buy covergirl and maybe even Revlon cosmetics.
But yet, time after time when perusing the aisles of the Bay or Wal-Mart stores, I find that any and every item showcased in Cosmopolitan flies off the shelves, l especially if its affordable or promises to 'cure' common teen issues like acne or increase breast size.
I still read cosmopolitan for the odd bit of schadenfreude, or what they call the "confessions". It's good to know that someone somewhere out there has done the same stupid stuff I have, or even way worse. Cosmo's main focus now is sex and looking sexy. A popular page in the magazine dictates through photos of celebrity behaviour what is considered sexy and skanky. It's similar to a "what's hot, and what's not" page and leaves me wondering who decides whether a particular trait or instance is good or bad, and whether the fact that moral quandary plays ANY role in that choice.
I question my efforts to pick apart the magazine, because as a die-hard Women's Health subscriber and health-nut, I find cosmopolitan to be the tabloid of women's magazines. It offers little useful advice and more often than not incorrect information. Cosmo is really just a good bathroom reader, in that it is filled with garbage and useless fodder. Why would a teen ever care to know 101 ways to give oral sex when Pakistan is in dire need of relief aid and disease is about to exponentially grow? Why would anyone want to read such a piece of crap when the world is so full of problems?
That's exactly why they read it. The world is such a hard place in which to be an optimist, and reading crap like Cosmopolitan not only lets us feel 'better' about certain situations ("Well at least I'm not so-and-so) and focuses our attention on material wealth. It teaches us that happiness is only a great pair of shoes away, that we are mere objects for men to play with, and that our only satisfaction comes from being wanted, as an object. We're bombarded with incorrect representations of the female form, computerised and digitally enhanced versions of breasts, eyes, lips and teeth so many times that we lose touch with what is considered beautiful and even normal. Flaws are normal, cynicism is commonplace, people are fat after size 6. The world is an ugly place.
But yet, when it came time to renew my subscription I hesitated only for a moment. I put off calling them and going through this conversation. I procrastinated and paid the price, after seeing the automatic charge put onto my credit card for 40.00.
That could have bought me a new pair of shoes.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Green with a Cause
Just getting back from the Green Party of Canada's BGM now, and I swear I'll be dreaming about policy for days. Although I'm told there weren't as many motions and resolutions are there were before, I can safely say that the party itself is on a long road to somewhere. I don't even think anyone knows where that is, yet.
The Green Party itself has great ideas, great grassroots and a very intelligent and intellectual leader but most members themselves are lacking in all these things. Listening to the conversation between both young greens and green members alike left me wondering if the only way to be taken seriously in this room was to have a law degree, a title, or both. Anything the leader supported or opposed openly was voted as such, and most of the commentary consisted of snide and foul arguments. Questions of consistency, and a lot of arguments appealing to authority and tradition (other than constitutional traditions) were used as bait to arouse emotion rather than discussion out of the membership. Whenever a particular policy or motion was discussed, it was always in view of "how it could make us look" rather than if it was logical and in line with party values. Essentially, the party needs a separate body to monitor the making of policy and to supervise to see that it always falls in line with the values and vision of the Green Party.
Meeting some amazing people was just a side thing, but it made my entire weekend. I got to personally meet Jessica Holmes, a wonderful Canadian comedian and Green supporter, as well as Mike Schreiner, leader of the Green Party of Ontario. These are two people whom I admire greatly for their work and contribution to Canada and furthermore to the Green community.
I learned a lot, as well. The weekend wasn't just about screaming out motions and points of order, but about connecting with Young Greens (where I learned that I'm a lot more well off in terms of Campus Clubs than I thought), networking with lawyers and fellow Green supporters, as well as just hanging out with a lot of really genuine people. The convention may have only lasted three days, but I could have done it for a week. My Green leanings are now stronger than ever, and I believe that although our minds (as a party) are on getting Ms. May elected in Saanich-Gulf Islands, we are building our party into the future of Canadian politics. There's a rush to get elected and sponsor change... but I believe that the green movement is growing even in blue and red supporters (of course, orange as well) which is surprising, but awesome all the same.
As screamed at the CBC during our 'flash mob' by YG: Vote Green!
The Green Party itself has great ideas, great grassroots and a very intelligent and intellectual leader but most members themselves are lacking in all these things. Listening to the conversation between both young greens and green members alike left me wondering if the only way to be taken seriously in this room was to have a law degree, a title, or both. Anything the leader supported or opposed openly was voted as such, and most of the commentary consisted of snide and foul arguments. Questions of consistency, and a lot of arguments appealing to authority and tradition (other than constitutional traditions) were used as bait to arouse emotion rather than discussion out of the membership. Whenever a particular policy or motion was discussed, it was always in view of "how it could make us look" rather than if it was logical and in line with party values. Essentially, the party needs a separate body to monitor the making of policy and to supervise to see that it always falls in line with the values and vision of the Green Party.
Meeting some amazing people was just a side thing, but it made my entire weekend. I got to personally meet Jessica Holmes, a wonderful Canadian comedian and Green supporter, as well as Mike Schreiner, leader of the Green Party of Ontario. These are two people whom I admire greatly for their work and contribution to Canada and furthermore to the Green community.
I learned a lot, as well. The weekend wasn't just about screaming out motions and points of order, but about connecting with Young Greens (where I learned that I'm a lot more well off in terms of Campus Clubs than I thought), networking with lawyers and fellow Green supporters, as well as just hanging out with a lot of really genuine people. The convention may have only lasted three days, but I could have done it for a week. My Green leanings are now stronger than ever, and I believe that although our minds (as a party) are on getting Ms. May elected in Saanich-Gulf Islands, we are building our party into the future of Canadian politics. There's a rush to get elected and sponsor change... but I believe that the green movement is growing even in blue and red supporters (of course, orange as well) which is surprising, but awesome all the same.
As screamed at the CBC during our 'flash mob' by YG: Vote Green!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Hyperconnected: Oh Brave New World!
Ever sit in front of your computer, sometimes for hours at a time, constantly checking and re-checking e-mail and facebook? The notion of hyperconnectivity is anything but uncommon in today's social media and crackberry realm. Hyperconnectivity exists when we are constantly plugging ourselves into the web: whether it be through our smartphone, our twitter, facebook, linkedin, tumblr or blogspot account, or even just searching through e-mail or messenger. We're attaching ourselves to other people in more ways than just telephone these days, and the consequences of hyperconnectivity are numerous.
Think of the last time your house lost power. You probably found yourself clawing at the keys on your blackberry, updating your facebook status ("power's out! dammit!"), checking twitter to see who else has lost power, and maybe even logging on to BBM to talk to your friends while the internet router sits there, lifeless.
Blackberry thumb was the carpal tunnel of the 2000s, and now we have hyperconnectivity. Hyperrealities exist in that we are so in tune to the world around us, yet not at all. We lack in our knowledge of world news and issues yet we are fully aware of the small differences between the iPhone 3 and 4, and the 'bumper issue'. Our parents exist outside of this reality for the most part. They see twitter as a strange and useless thing, yet it is a mere copy of the metaphorical 'grapevine' or 'hotline' that they use as a community. The twitter community is simply exponentially larger, full of useless gossip as well as newsworthy material.
The close-mindedness of the hyperconnected generation will only grow with each new method of communication. We were astonished when suddenly our iPods turned into phones, and our keyboards became smaller and were able to do everything from the palm of our hand. The personal computer is becoming a necessity to fewer and fewer people, just as our predecessors and parents are becoming literate and able to fully navigate the internet. The google search engine has become our central processing unit: whenever we don't know something (and more often than not, are too lazy to remember something) we google it. We spend hours looking for images for profile pictures, imagines of our favorite hyperreal 'celebrities' and the perfect haircut, only to have it copied by a hairstylist we found through google. The old ways of looking for things and knowing information (interpersonal relations and learning through experience) are complicated and useless to this generation. It's so much easier to look through IMDB (internet movie database) for the actor of a film we saw years ago instead of bothering to remember it. It creates this problem that Socrates worried about, how writing everything down would eliminate the purpose of our memory, and that we'd be so lazy we would just refer to notes instead of our memory.
Hyperconnectivity has caused us to become these individuals with an incredible amount of power and purpose but little knowledge of how to actually use it. Politically speaking, we complain and complain about how much we hate our current leader, yet few bother to speak up about it, few bother to research party platform and even fewer bother to use their right to vote and change things in their favour. Whatever works in the interest of the greatest number of people has been the ideology for years and years, and a shift may be slowly occuring, but the hyperreality of being in your own world of accessible artificial intelligence is the obstacle.
In order for change to occur, the ideology of the people must be completely overthrown and altered. The change must seep into the minds of the people and produce new ideology. The only way for true social change to occur is to literally hyperconnect to social change. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Digg, etc., are all excellent marketing tools; the true possibilities of entering deep into the minds of the people has yet to be revealed. It's a lot like Inception: deep enough into our minds we can plant an idea, and watch it grow. Hyperconnectivity allows these ideas into our hyperrealities, or our 'own little worlds': our reality beyond the actual reality.
So you see, hyperconnectivity has the potential to change or destroy the world, because it allows all sorts of information to flow freely from our minds and (mostly) into our minds. This constant bombardment of information and stimulus only creates a desire for more stimulus, and in the end makes us incredibly numbed out to the need for social change. Our minds become mere hedonists, and lack the ability to grasp the true state of the world (floods, poverty ravaged countries, earthquakes) unless there is a social effect behind it: think of the last time you donated money to a country's relief efforts... why did you do it? Who or where did you learn about it from?
The answer, is almost always the same: inside your hyperreality you are in constant contact with all kinds of stimulus, and your responses are in accord with the dominant ideology. When social change occurs, it is in the interest of this ideology. It's always in the interest of keeping things the same.
Hyperconnectivity is in a feedback loop without any subsequent change. Our feedback is simply to ask for more meaningless information, and lack of change (or subtle changes).
This is supposed to anger you. This is supposed to make you put down your blackberry, your iPhone, log off facebook, twitter or whatever you're hooked up to, and get outside. Go for a run, a walk. See what's out there. Listen to your parents, watch the 6:00 news. See what's happened since you were a kid. You'll be terrified at the results.
I conclude this with a quote from Neil Postman: "What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny "failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions." In 1984, Orwell added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we fear will ruin us. Huxley feared that our desire will ruin us."
Think of the last time your house lost power. You probably found yourself clawing at the keys on your blackberry, updating your facebook status ("power's out! dammit!"), checking twitter to see who else has lost power, and maybe even logging on to BBM to talk to your friends while the internet router sits there, lifeless.
Blackberry thumb was the carpal tunnel of the 2000s, and now we have hyperconnectivity. Hyperrealities exist in that we are so in tune to the world around us, yet not at all. We lack in our knowledge of world news and issues yet we are fully aware of the small differences between the iPhone 3 and 4, and the 'bumper issue'. Our parents exist outside of this reality for the most part. They see twitter as a strange and useless thing, yet it is a mere copy of the metaphorical 'grapevine' or 'hotline' that they use as a community. The twitter community is simply exponentially larger, full of useless gossip as well as newsworthy material.
The close-mindedness of the hyperconnected generation will only grow with each new method of communication. We were astonished when suddenly our iPods turned into phones, and our keyboards became smaller and were able to do everything from the palm of our hand. The personal computer is becoming a necessity to fewer and fewer people, just as our predecessors and parents are becoming literate and able to fully navigate the internet. The google search engine has become our central processing unit: whenever we don't know something (and more often than not, are too lazy to remember something) we google it. We spend hours looking for images for profile pictures, imagines of our favorite hyperreal 'celebrities' and the perfect haircut, only to have it copied by a hairstylist we found through google. The old ways of looking for things and knowing information (interpersonal relations and learning through experience) are complicated and useless to this generation. It's so much easier to look through IMDB (internet movie database) for the actor of a film we saw years ago instead of bothering to remember it. It creates this problem that Socrates worried about, how writing everything down would eliminate the purpose of our memory, and that we'd be so lazy we would just refer to notes instead of our memory.
Hyperconnectivity has caused us to become these individuals with an incredible amount of power and purpose but little knowledge of how to actually use it. Politically speaking, we complain and complain about how much we hate our current leader, yet few bother to speak up about it, few bother to research party platform and even fewer bother to use their right to vote and change things in their favour. Whatever works in the interest of the greatest number of people has been the ideology for years and years, and a shift may be slowly occuring, but the hyperreality of being in your own world of accessible artificial intelligence is the obstacle.
In order for change to occur, the ideology of the people must be completely overthrown and altered. The change must seep into the minds of the people and produce new ideology. The only way for true social change to occur is to literally hyperconnect to social change. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Digg, etc., are all excellent marketing tools; the true possibilities of entering deep into the minds of the people has yet to be revealed. It's a lot like Inception: deep enough into our minds we can plant an idea, and watch it grow. Hyperconnectivity allows these ideas into our hyperrealities, or our 'own little worlds': our reality beyond the actual reality.
So you see, hyperconnectivity has the potential to change or destroy the world, because it allows all sorts of information to flow freely from our minds and (mostly) into our minds. This constant bombardment of information and stimulus only creates a desire for more stimulus, and in the end makes us incredibly numbed out to the need for social change. Our minds become mere hedonists, and lack the ability to grasp the true state of the world (floods, poverty ravaged countries, earthquakes) unless there is a social effect behind it: think of the last time you donated money to a country's relief efforts... why did you do it? Who or where did you learn about it from?
The answer, is almost always the same: inside your hyperreality you are in constant contact with all kinds of stimulus, and your responses are in accord with the dominant ideology. When social change occurs, it is in the interest of this ideology. It's always in the interest of keeping things the same.
Hyperconnectivity is in a feedback loop without any subsequent change. Our feedback is simply to ask for more meaningless information, and lack of change (or subtle changes).
This is supposed to anger you. This is supposed to make you put down your blackberry, your iPhone, log off facebook, twitter or whatever you're hooked up to, and get outside. Go for a run, a walk. See what's out there. Listen to your parents, watch the 6:00 news. See what's happened since you were a kid. You'll be terrified at the results.
I conclude this with a quote from Neil Postman: "What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny "failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions." In 1984, Orwell added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we fear will ruin us. Huxley feared that our desire will ruin us."
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Simply Desire
Pictures flash before my eyes,
You have had your fill, your fill of me
I've thought about you 9/10 of today
I can't close my eyes without that little
heart between my ribs aching for more
just more of you, your voice
December baby, you are mine
In my memory, I can't think
I've done everything right
but yet I'll never be good enough
No matter what happens, I'll still have you in here
this little heart, between
lies and your own screwed up life
You make me realize that love is out there
and maybe I won't die alone
so things are good, good they are
I've loved and lost, but here you are
just leave already, so I can kiss the boys
and make them cry
dadadada, waltzing underneath the night sky
Maybe you shouldn't have left me
You have had your fill, your fill of me
I've thought about you 9/10 of today
I can't close my eyes without that little
heart between my ribs aching for more
just more of you, your voice
December baby, you are mine
In my memory, I can't think
I've done everything right
but yet I'll never be good enough
No matter what happens, I'll still have you in here
this little heart, between
lies and your own screwed up life
You make me realize that love is out there
and maybe I won't die alone
so things are good, good they are
I've loved and lost, but here you are
just leave already, so I can kiss the boys
and make them cry
dadadada, waltzing underneath the night sky
Maybe you shouldn't have left me
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Stars and Lights
Now the lights are out, I can discover
this love, these bloodshot eyes
know it's never over.
So tell me it's not over
Sailor, take me away
and acoustic sounds like I'm caught
in a fray; you were on my left
always on my right, side of heart
you feel through, much too late
And all those plans I made,
fell to pieces. So what if you're gone
you're coming back
So what if I held myself back,
I never wanted to let go
My skin crawls, and the lights dim
dim and bother, dim and hit me
my head aches, cherishing this broken heart
put that last drink down
find a better place to start: the end
is now my beginning, i want to
fly above the soaring sea
and bring you back to me
Stars, Lights
and a sailor's beautiful night
I want to go on
cherishing this broken heart
this love, these bloodshot eyes
know it's never over.
So tell me it's not over
Sailor, take me away
and acoustic sounds like I'm caught
in a fray; you were on my left
always on my right, side of heart
you feel through, much too late
And all those plans I made,
fell to pieces. So what if you're gone
you're coming back
So what if I held myself back,
I never wanted to let go
My skin crawls, and the lights dim
dim and bother, dim and hit me
my head aches, cherishing this broken heart
put that last drink down
find a better place to start: the end
is now my beginning, i want to
fly above the soaring sea
and bring you back to me
Stars, Lights
and a sailor's beautiful night
I want to go on
cherishing this broken heart
Friday, August 6, 2010
Day 20
Soreness, swollen eyes shine in the light
It's dark outside, but I'm up tonight
I wonder if you realize how badly you broke me
Still, I seem to find the pieces
put me back together, to function again
But it's only ever for a little while, then
One look from you, I come undone
Cool breezes dance around my room, the sweetness
and stillness of the midnight air
the warmth lingers, and violin simmers away
It's never fair
When I love and lose, when I give it my all
and get tossed to the ground, you never meant
for this to happen, you never meant to hurt me
Why you started this hell, I'll never understand
But I know, there's some place in your heart
where I crawled into, fell asleep in your arms
I'll never understand why it had to be you
My hair, soft but brittle
falls around my face like a warm blanket
It changes like the seasons, my eyes
torn, with pain and regret
I have to break before I get better
My skin itches, my nerves are so wrought with
confusion, I'll never understand
When the only moment I don't think of you
is when I'm with you
It's dark outside, but I'm up tonight
I wonder if you realize how badly you broke me
Still, I seem to find the pieces
put me back together, to function again
But it's only ever for a little while, then
One look from you, I come undone
Cool breezes dance around my room, the sweetness
and stillness of the midnight air
the warmth lingers, and violin simmers away
It's never fair
When I love and lose, when I give it my all
and get tossed to the ground, you never meant
for this to happen, you never meant to hurt me
Why you started this hell, I'll never understand
But I know, there's some place in your heart
where I crawled into, fell asleep in your arms
I'll never understand why it had to be you
My hair, soft but brittle
falls around my face like a warm blanket
It changes like the seasons, my eyes
torn, with pain and regret
I have to break before I get better
My skin itches, my nerves are so wrought with
confusion, I'll never understand
When the only moment I don't think of you
is when I'm with you
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Day 17
Don't care, don't touch
Don't feel free to rough me up
You'll never see, never try
never feel what it's like to live a lie
and you can do this over and over again
but all you'll ever be, is some guy
So go ahead, and jump off this bridge
you'll never be able to touch the sky
So keep on, protecting your case
But nobody is believing your lie
Didn't kiss, didn't fuck
So don't feel free to size me up
You'll never know, you'll never touch me again
so please, continue to be that friend
who loves and loves without ties
who cares, and stays without end, without
ordinary drama, keep on, I believed that lie
So go ahead, run off this cliff
you'll never see the start of the sky
So go on, kiss me this one last time
I'll never forget that regrettable night
Don't feel free to rough me up
You'll never see, never try
never feel what it's like to live a lie
and you can do this over and over again
but all you'll ever be, is some guy
So go ahead, and jump off this bridge
you'll never be able to touch the sky
So keep on, protecting your case
But nobody is believing your lie
Didn't kiss, didn't fuck
So don't feel free to size me up
You'll never know, you'll never touch me again
so please, continue to be that friend
who loves and loves without ties
who cares, and stays without end, without
ordinary drama, keep on, I believed that lie
So go ahead, run off this cliff
you'll never see the start of the sky
So go on, kiss me this one last time
I'll never forget that regrettable night
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Day 19
the battle has only begun,
but girl, my friend
You've already won
So give up
put down your grenades
put down your guns
You keep me up at night
dreaming of ways, to make you
understand my pain
Clouds are floating in the air
your war explodes everywhere
If you wanted love
why didn't you say so?
Twisted names, why are you running
this same old game
When all it does, is end
and causes you more pain
You keep shooting darts
and wearing those skirts
You're an assassin on a mission
If you wanted love
why don't you just say so?
They say you look just like a memory
but you don't feel like anything
but a loose cannon, with time to kill
baby baby bombshell, I don't care
if we sleep tonight
I just want to make it right
When all you do is end, and talk shit again
You're a fighter on a rampage
and you just want love
but girl, my friend
You've already won
So give up
put down your grenades
put down your guns
You keep me up at night
dreaming of ways, to make you
understand my pain
Clouds are floating in the air
your war explodes everywhere
If you wanted love
why didn't you say so?
Twisted names, why are you running
this same old game
When all it does, is end
and causes you more pain
You keep shooting darts
and wearing those skirts
You're an assassin on a mission
If you wanted love
why don't you just say so?
They say you look just like a memory
but you don't feel like anything
but a loose cannon, with time to kill
baby baby bombshell, I don't care
if we sleep tonight
I just want to make it right
When all you do is end, and talk shit again
You're a fighter on a rampage
and you just want love
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Day 16
We are all so different
I assume you've loved before
When you see me cry
I hope that you don't laugh
I hope that you don't cry
because in my heart, there's a love
there's a love that won't die
Note to self, single
single breath, heaving sigh
I guess we're not meant to be
Like a flutter, into the past
you're leaving, and everytime
I'm down on my knees
begging you to stay
So, just leave already
We all know, it's me. Just a single
kiss, bring me to life
and flutter, like angel wings
against the cold black sky
Piano chords, bring me my chorus
I guess we're not going to be
Leave, so I can twinge
in this summer dress, lady legs
stiff with grief, gone with death
Breathe.
All I've known, is that there is an end
and at that point
you'll become your dreams, your nightmares
then, you can begin again
Trust rebuilds like all broken brick walls
and when you awake from that sudden death
you'll say, is this my life now
honestly, you can't know
you just have to believe, in everything
that's how love finds you,
caught in the rain, in someone's arms
underneath snowflakes or sunkissed skies
It's all I've known, and it's everywhere
but is this my world, honestly
we'll send quick replies, and shortened goodbyes
waiting for a second time
but the plane takes off
and I'll get drunk, as shit
All my friends will sympathize, oh
When I wake from this dream
shake me, turn on the lights all around me
light the candles, and toss dust into the air
sniffles will turn to sneezes
I just wanted to please, like that night
finally I'll rest, rest forever maybe
Stopping myself from a kiss
I know, I know, I felt that way too
-- And everyday, it's changed since then.
-- In every way, I've changed since then.
I assume you've loved before
When you see me cry
I hope that you don't laugh
I hope that you don't cry
because in my heart, there's a love
there's a love that won't die
Note to self, single
single breath, heaving sigh
I guess we're not meant to be
Like a flutter, into the past
you're leaving, and everytime
I'm down on my knees
begging you to stay
So, just leave already
We all know, it's me. Just a single
kiss, bring me to life
and flutter, like angel wings
against the cold black sky
Piano chords, bring me my chorus
I guess we're not going to be
Leave, so I can twinge
in this summer dress, lady legs
stiff with grief, gone with death
Breathe.
All I've known, is that there is an end
and at that point
you'll become your dreams, your nightmares
then, you can begin again
Trust rebuilds like all broken brick walls
and when you awake from that sudden death
you'll say, is this my life now
honestly, you can't know
you just have to believe, in everything
that's how love finds you,
caught in the rain, in someone's arms
underneath snowflakes or sunkissed skies
It's all I've known, and it's everywhere
but is this my world, honestly
we'll send quick replies, and shortened goodbyes
waiting for a second time
but the plane takes off
and I'll get drunk, as shit
All my friends will sympathize, oh
When I wake from this dream
shake me, turn on the lights all around me
light the candles, and toss dust into the air
sniffles will turn to sneezes
I just wanted to please, like that night
finally I'll rest, rest forever maybe
Stopping myself from a kiss
I know, I know, I felt that way too
-- And everyday, it's changed since then.
-- In every way, I've changed since then.
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