Laurier Girls

This story is one of the oldest around. Laurier Girls are the university format of the 'plastics' or the typical fake blonde bronzed amazons that all other girls love to hate. The quintessential Laurier girl has perfectly teased hair, often piled up into a 'sumo-bun', usually blonde and even more usual: fake.

The hair itself irritates me. Why spend more time than necessary making your hair look effortless, when bedhead can be easily achieved by simply getting out of bed. Why pay hundreds of dollars for a bottled blonde that imitates something the sun would do naturally on a boxed blonde or even a natural brunette?

Spending a ridiculous amount of money on appearance is nothing new to the average Laurier girl. The typical makeup is not your drugstore brand, nor is it dior. It's just expensive stuff, probably from Sephora. I'm not stereotyping, I'm just saying what I know.

When I started doing yoga, I became more familiar with lululemon athletica. Their yoga gear is by far well-made, and looks good on all shapes and sizes. The fact is, most Laurier girls sport the "wunder-under" pants (basically painted-on luon fabric leggings) which showcases their, ahem... 'assets'.

Those pants are 78-98 bucks, depending on which ones you get.

The Canada Goose down jacket, another wardrobe staple, is as cheap as 400 and as expensive as 1200 dollars depending on the length. Sure, these coats are warm: they're made for arctic excursions. But are they really necessary in -10 southern ontario winters? I barely wore a sweater last year, being a northerner I find these winters rather mild.

Of course we cannot forget about Uggs. Being incredibly "uggly" they serve little purpose other than to be trendy. Uggs were made for warming your feet after surfing in Australia. They're not made for Canadian winters. If they're warm, I'd be surprised. If they have good traction, I'd be even more surprised, as I see regularly women falling flat on their asses wearing those boots on ice.

Those boots are 200 a pair. Most LGs own several.

I just don't understand the purpose of spending 800, 900 dollars on an outfit that although you wear regularly (its pretty much a uniform here) serves no purpose other than to make you look ridiculous. Wearing yoga wear outside of the gym is stupid, wearing boots that make you fall is stupid, wearing a coat that makes you look like a marshmallow (and probably makes you sweat) is also stupid.

The LG persona is based on stupidity.
Although many of these girls are bright, intelligent and very enjoyable to be around, they play on this stupidity as a 'damsel in distress' kind of way. They think men like to show the female how superior they can be.

No wonder I'm still single. I would never downplay my intelligence in order to appear 'delicious' in the eyes of the opposite sex. Nor would you catch me dressed inappropriately for the weather. My lululemon does not leave the AC.

They're so identifiable by this stereotype, by this uniform. They pump thousands of dollars into these companies, and for what? other than lululemon, a respectable CANADIAN company, canada goose sure isn't cruelty free, and ever wonder what Uggs are made out of?
Google it. Few things these girls wear are representative of ethical awareness or even intelligence. I'll go that far.

As for me, if you dyed my hair blonde, strapped me up in that ridiculous clothing and made me seem half as smart as I was, I'd still stand out like a sore thumb. Always have, always will. And I'm proud of it.