This time of year can make any left-leaner piss themselves. It's hard to keep up with the expectations people ask of you: giving expensive gifts is the North American/Western idea of showing your love.
My way of showing love? Making the 6 hour trip north, cooking and cleaning up a storm and having the entire family over for dinner. Love is best shown physically in my opinion, as I've learned that some ideas just can't be expressed in words but in company and in hugs of those you care about.
It's hard to say how I feel about the holidays, as I love receiving gifts as I am a broke/poor student and have no way of paying for things I could really use (cardio gloves! so useful) and money certainly does make my world go round. Not, of course, that I want it to.
I find that every year on Christmas morning I feel this angsty sense of disappointment with the gifts I receive. Not that I expect useful gifts or things of practicality but it seems that IN COMPARISON others are getting progressively more and more for doing less and less; the poor are the ones who suffer the lack of 'love' at Christmastime.
I'd love to spend the holidays in Waterloo, if only my family would understand. It just isn't the same without my Dad around. It won't be the same without my dog Ben jumping through the snow and getting very excited to play in the wrapping paper. It was always the simple things that made me love Christmas. The way my cat loved to sleep under the Christmas tree, the way I myself used to get very excited when I got to decorate the house/tree and listen to Christmas tunes.
Its all changed now, it's become this capitalist frenzy: only 30 something days left of SHOPPING until Christmas?
How about only a little less than a month until I see most of my family, whom I have not seen since April? How about 6 essays, two presentations and two exams until I see my brother, my mother and my dear old grandmother?
It's not the same. It never will be, and it breaks my heart. Sure, I can fill that gaping hole with presents and food but I'll only end up coming back to Waterloo ten pounds heavier and a lot poorer. There's no solution to the Christmas blues but to spend it with the people who TRULY care about me, those people who know how to spend their money: not necessarily on gifts but on me and on each other in a way that shows truly that you love me. Paying for my bus ticket back would be a good start.
That being said...
All I want for Christmas is some sleep, to see my cat, and my friends. But obviously, family comes first.
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