Searching for Moments: a lullaby for a tired heart

All I've ever been searching for are moments. Moments are those things your memory treasures long after they're gone. They don't have to be the good times, or the bad, but single intimate reflections of when time just seemed to happen. Time itself, can be called a creation of the human mind; time doesn't seem to pass when we slip outside of our false consciousness and into our individual realities. These individual realities, these moments, they're what we crave for, what we yearn for. Some call it love, I call it moments.

Relapse. Breathe. It's what I really wanted to hold onto, even just for a little while. That heart warming feeling, of having everything I ever needed; safety has never been such a comfort until now. You, unfortunately, were that moment; I held onto, only for a little while, and for that while I was whole. I reconciled every little broken piece of what I thought I had lost with you, and now you're gone. Sure, it may seem a little tragic, or self-defeative, but it's the truth.

It's not even a break, or an 'over'. It's just a rebirth. I'll keep searching for it, whatever it may be. The subject changes, but the content remains the same. Parties, alcohol, friends, and music, I'll bite off more than I can chew, but I'll handle it. The sharks can swim around me, but I'll handle it. It's what I do. But these moments, they're so hard to find: like the mystical "grumps" of the One Week fame, they're hard to find, but they bring untold happiness and good fortune.

Like a good laugh, a moment warms you throughout. Like a hug, or a caress, a moment doesn't choose which nerves to tingle; it tingles them all. Moments, they're all I want right now. Just moments, continuous moments. Like an addict on the search for her next fix, I just want more. I want more of you, more of me, more of everything.

I want it, give it to me all at once: life, love, hate, and everything. My heart beats so fast, and I know I need it. Like the beating of the pow wow drum, my heart dances and slows; I just hope it never stops.