Sunday, June 20, 2010

Last Three

These are the last three facebook notes I have written. If you want the full collection, I'm thinking of having it compiled into a book (there's over 300) soon enough so you might get it as a gift, or you can just visit my facebook page. They should be (but I'm not 100% sure) public -- if not, then I'll make them public as soon as someone tells me otherwise (told you I'm lazy)


Enjoy.

It's beginning to get to me - 18th June
I could be happy
I hope you are,
You've made me happier, than I've been, by far
Somehow I've made that decision to fall
Somehow it's all not true.
I could do the things I always wanted to
without you there to hold me back
dont think; just do.
More than anything I want to, see you
right now; I can't hold my breath any longer
I can't keep living in pain
and creating drama to feel something if anything
Please don't let this turn into something its not
I can only give you everything I got
I've lost all faith in love and that feeling
is so foreign to me I wouldn't know it
except I see it, more than I'd like to
more than I'd like to know that everyone around me
is happy, and smiling
I'm alone, me against the world.
Nobody ever said I had to be like this
But nobody ever told me I'd be on my own this fast
falling so hard, tripping over my own feet, my own words
I don't know what to do anymore
I feel like a stranger to my own friends
in my own home
Exhausted, I fall asleep to the rhythm of my heartbeat
I can't even cry
A joy for my pillowcase; I lay down on the floor
I pray that there's another day ahead for me
to find solace in the sunlight
but rain, comes and clouds my memory
with thoughts of you and hopes
that I won't wake up in a cold sweat
but that I won't wake up at all.

Tears and Rain - 17th June
Wasn't quite sure when I woke this morning
Where I was, what went on, or what you were thinking
But the sounds of breathing in and out, the rain,
the 9 going by... constantly
I guess it's time I ran; far far away, find comfort in pain
Cause it just keeps on coming
Wasn't quite sure what to say
so I left, before you could wake

It was the shortest walk, but I couldn't get home fast enough
tore off the clothes, the bitter taste of confusion
I couldn't quite decipher what went on
I'm so cold, from the rain

I just wanted him to know I loved him
fell far away, down to the floor
Couldn't be enough, so I came to you,
So I came to you, and you took me in
with every breath, with every laugh
It kept me from trouble; but now it's the thought
the smile on my face, that I had it all for a moment
I close my eyes and relive seconds worth of happy
and Fall far away, sink back into oblivion


Feet pound pavement, eyes drain the rest of this rain
It's always been just me here
Friends like passing cracks in the sidewalk
1, 2, 3, breathe.
I'm all I have now; and I don't need you
1, 2, 3, breathe.
Another day, another shower
another line on a page.

Warning Sign - June 14th
Come on in, I gotta tell you what a state I'm in
Gotta tell you in my loudest tones, that I started looking for a warning sign.


I just realized how long I've been hurting, and the truth is: I miss you. I used to cry on my way home, after you walked me past your car. I used to wonder if you intentionally parked there to get those few more minutes in with me before driving home. This was my warning sign

I remember the moment I realized you were going to be important to me. About two hours after we met, after so many conversations, about everything. I realized that you could be the best thing that ever happened to me. This was my warning sign

Time after time. Running into you, accidentally and sometimes in ways even so far out there I wondered if I was crazy. I'd leave, randomly. I'd see you and be so sure... It was so strange. Now I'm tired, and I just want those moments back. That was my warning sign

I should have said something. When you signed the papers, when you asked for my number, when you let me out of your car, when you called me when I was crying.
But I didn't.

You're everywhere, and a part of everything I do. It's impossible not to think of you.
Shouldn't have ignored the warning signs.

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